I know that sitting here is the last thing you want to be doing and it can feel like a total waste of time now that you aren’t going to be a therapist, but once you get through this program no one will be able to take your degree away from you. SPIRAL RESPONSE: You will not be in school forever. SOURCE OF SPIRAL: Being bored out of my mind in class, being incredibly confused and overwhelmed in class, having to do any of my work-especially when it is hard. While also remembering that your work is one part of you-not all of you.ĬONTENT OF SPIRAL: I made a huge mistake by going to graduate school. Allow yourself the freedom to be optimistic about the future. The only way to truly fail is to give up. You don’t know what is to come and you have already done so much. So why do you hold yourself to a different standard? I know that you are scared and sad and also feeling guilty for being scared and sad, but everyone experiences these feelings. SPIRAL RESPONSE: Why do you think you have to be successful in order to matter? Do you look down on all the people in your life who aren’t wildly prominent and/or well paid in their field? No. SOURCE OF SPIRAL: Seeing other people succeed, not selling a project, having low views on my social media, thinking about my past success compared to my current situation. But there is nothing foolish about choosing to care about other people.ĬONTENT OF SPIRAL : My career is over and I’m a total failure. I know that you sometimes feel like a fool for investing more in people than they invest in you. I am proud of you for continuing to spend time and effort on friendships even though you get hurt along the way. Plus, you never know what friends you will make in the future. ![]() Try to remember that John is your best friend and you get to live with him! You also have the privilege of actually enjoying both your parents, and, even if that is unconventional, it is still a form a friendship. SIPRAL RESPONSE – I know this is triggering for you given all of your friendship trauma, but even if your friendships don’t look or feel like what you were taught to expect, that doesn’t mean you don’t have people that care about you. SOURCE OF SPIRAL – Finding out friends did something without me, explicitly didn’t invite me to something or observing them be closer with someone else. Here are some examples of conversations I’ve had with myself:ĬONTENT OF SPIRAL – No one cares about me. If one of the nets doesn’t work, I have other “fail safes” in place-including simply going to sleep so I can start again in the morning! Or eating a snack because my hunger is secretly affecting my mood. ![]() I like to think of these talks as a sort of safety net that I’ve set up in my brain to catch me and fling me back up toward equilibrium. Do these pep talks mean I’m suddenly in the best mood of my life? Nope! But they stop me from tumbling all the way down into a spiral that makes it harder to crawl my way out. So I thought I’d share some of the ways I’ve talked myself down in the past. ![]() The concept of self-soothing, though, can often seem vague and therefore unhelpful. One of the things that has helped me feel more in control of my mental health instead of living in constant fear of it has been learning how to self-soothe.
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